A toothache and a prank

My first, and oldest friend, Dayne, whom I've know since we were 4 years old, is squeamish.  He also has a very sensitive sense of smell and is admittedly prone to barfing.  He and I were at the deer lease in the summer, preparing for the upcoming season.  I had an aggravated tooth that had been bothering me for a few days and I had been complaining a lot.

It was damn hot in San Angelo, TX that July.  We would work for a few minutes, clearing brush, setting posts, filling feeders, and then sit and guzzle water.  The gnats are awful in West Texas when its hot.  They're a constant annoyance and in your ears, nose, and eyes.  While we were at one location, I found the jawbone of a deer.  It was bleached white by the sun and coming apart.  One of the big molars pulled right out.  Hmm.  My wheels were spinning.  And my tooth really was bothering me.

A bit later, the tooth in my pocket, we were sitting in the truck, AC running, cooling off and drinking water.  My backseat was littered with bottles and there was a layer of hot dust on everything.  I was trying to set my phone up on the hot dash to record the upcoming prank.  Dayne told me my phone would overheat if I left it on the dash.  True, but I wasn't planning on it being there long. I couldn't get the damn thing to stand up straight, hence no video.  I gave up and complained about my tooth.  I was rubbing my gum like I had been all day.  He said, "Man that must really hurt.".  "Yeah it really does" I said, "I need some painkillers."  By this time I had eased the tooth out of my pocket and had it hidden in the palm of my right hand.

I reached up and was pulling on the tooth with my right hand, (which actually felt good), and then put my left up there for leverage.  I winced really hard and cried out, as if the tooth was coming out.  "What the hell, are you okay?" he said.  I said something profane and unintelligible and closed my eyes as the "tooth" started to come out.  "Oh shit I mumbled, as "it" came out.  My hands dropped hard as it came loose and I slammed my left hand over my mouth as my right hand fell to the console between us. Dayne had a look of horror on his face.  He was scooting away a little as I opened my right hand and left that big ugly deer molar on the console.  He screamed and was trying hard to get that door open and bail out as he was expecting a shower of blood.  I was hollering in pain and trying not to laugh my ass off.  He was moving as fast as he could trying to get away from my screaming and that ugly ass tooth.  Then I started laughing as he was stumbling away.  He yelled "WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT!" as he looked at me like I was a zombie. It took a long moment for him to figure out that the tooth just didn't make sense and why I had gone from crying out in pain to laughing myself hoarse.  

It was priceless!